Captions & Quotes

350+ Best Funny & Hilarious Instagram captions

Best Funny Instagram captions: Most people love to read funny memes or funny captions these days. Moreover, they enjoying a lot reading funny captions of others on Instagram.  If they love other’s posts with funny captions they’ll automatically follow them. So, this is a great way to grab people’s attention towards your post. If you add the Best funny and hilarious captions to your Instagram post, that’ll help you to get more engagement with your audience. So that, here in this guide we’ve listed some funny and Hilarious Instagram captions for you. These will assist you to get more organic followers on Instagram.

List of best Funny& Hilarious Instagram captions

Best Funny Instagram Captions

  • Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
  • Reality called, so I hung up.
  • I’m on a date, she isn’t very social.
  • I’m in desperate need of a 6-month vacation…twice a year.
  • I’m on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
  • A cop pulled me over and told me Papers, so I said Scissors, I win! And drove off.
  • After Tuesdays, even the calendar goes WTF.
  • Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal.
  • Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.
  • Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it!
  • I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.
  • My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I had to do.
  • Brains are awesome. I wish everybody would have one!
  • For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
  • How do I feel when there is no coffee? Depresso.
  • Confidence level: Kanye West.
  • How do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop

Funny Instagram captions on Food

  • Carbs are the answer. No matter the question.
  • An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
  • Clean eating journal. Day 1: I am a goddess and my body is a temple. Day 3: Well, that was fun.
  • “Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of the pieces.” – Judith Viorst
  • Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.
  • The best things in life are free*. (*Does not apply to pizza.)
  • Fun size is for quitters.
  • The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.
  • I’ve forgotten a lot of things in life. A meal has never been one of them.
  • “As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”
  • “Things worth having are worth waiting for.” – Me, preheating the oven.
  • Diet tip: Don’t.
  • Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
  • There’s no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.
  • When in Rome, eat your weight in gelato.
  • Love is an open door…to a really good bakery.
  • All you need is lunch.
  • It’s so beautifully arranged on the plate – you know someone’s fingers have been all over it.
  • Lifehack #321: Keep cake fresh by eating it in one sitting.
  • I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.
  • “We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.” – Alfred E. Newman
  • Food always comes to those who love to cook.
  • I love calories. They are dаmn tasty.
  • “Soup is just a way of screwing you out of a meal.” — Jay Leno

Funny Instagram captions  for friends

  • Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine.
  • If I send you my ugly selfies, our friendship is real.
  • We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.
  • It’s hard to find a friend who’s cute, loving, generous, caring, and smart. My advice to y’all is, don’t lose me.
  • Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
  • I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.
  • Friends are like condoms, they protect you when things get hard.
  • I’d take a nerf bullet for you.
  • “Friendship is about finding people who are your kind of crazy.“Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.” – Robert Brault
  • “There is nothing better than a friend unless it is a friend with chocolate.” -Linda Grayson
  • “Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel a warm feeling inside.”
  • This is by far your worst idea ever… I’ll be there in 15 minutes.
  • “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”
  • “Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
  • “I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.”
  • Never let your best friends get lonely… keep disturbing them.
  • Friends are therapists you can drink with.
  • You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. I’ll train you.

Guys funny Instagram captions

  • The ideal man doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t swear, doesn’t get angry, doesn’t exist.
  • How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he’s lost?
  • How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
  • I’d like to live like a poor man – only with lots of money.
  • I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.
  • “Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.”
  • We can train a monkey to fly a jet but we can’t train a man to be humble.
  • Women fake orgasms and men fake finances. A husband is someone who after taking the trash out gives the impression he’s cleaned the whole house!
  • Men are dominated by women and know it.
    Men are dominated by women and don’t know it.
    And bachelors!!
  • There are easier things in life than trying to find a nice guy…like nailing jelly to a tree for example.
  • The only difference between men and boys is the size of their shoes and the price of their toys.
  • God made men because every good thing needs a blueprint.
  • One thing all men need to know: It’s cheaper to keep her.
  • MEN ARE LIKE BUSES… IF YOU MISS ONE ANOTHER ONE WILL BE COMING IN 5 MINUTES.
  • Coffee, Chocolate, Men. The richer the better!
  • So many men so little aspirin.

 Song Lyric Instagram captions

  • “Don’t criticize what you can’t understand.”
  • “Would you destroy Something perfect in order to make it beautiful?”
  • “We’re reaching for death
    on the end of a candle
    We’re trying for something
    that’s already found us”
  • “No matter how close, you are always too far. My eyes are drawn everywhere you are…”
  • “You have every right to a beautiful life.”
  • “Love me or hate me, I swear it won’t make or break me.”
  • “Time made me stronger, you’re no longer on my mind”
  • “..bright eyes and subtle variations of blue…”
  • “And I’m a bad boy ’cause I don’t even miss her. I’m a bad boy for breakin her heart”
    ― Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
  • “They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late.”
  • “Cheers to the freakin’ weekend.”
  • “This is an outhouse. This is our rules.”
  • “Here’s a toast to me real friends.”
  • “Hair blowing in the wind, losing track of time, just you and I.”
  • “I said, ‘Excuse me, you’re a hell of a guy.’”
  • “And I love you like Kanye love Kanye.”
  • “I’m 14 carats. Doing it up like Midas.”
  • “I ain’t got lotta money but I got a lotta style.”
  • “I wanna savor, save it for later”
  • “All of me loves all of you,”
  • “No one is as lucky as us. We’re not at the end but, but we’ve already won.”

 Romantic Instagram captions

  • “Come on up here, darlin’. We could use a little sump’m around here besides the smell of lumber.”
  • The four most important words in any marriage… “I’ll do the dishes.”
  • “Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.”
  • “Shopping is better than sex. At least if you’re not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.”
  • Love is like a roller coaster, when it’s all over you throw up!
  • “An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”
  • “To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose is the next best thing.”
  • “Love is like a lot like a toothache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.”
  • “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.”
  • “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
  • “My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.”
  • “What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.”
  • “Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.”
  • My mind works great wonder 365 days a year, 7 days a week, and 24 hours a day until I met you.

Hilarious Instagram Captions for Selfie

  • But first, let me take a selfie.
  • My hairstyle is called “I Tried”.
  • I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.
  • Someday someone is going to look at you like you’re the best thing in the world.
  • Fill your life with adventures, not things. Have stories to tell, not stuff to show.
  • When nothing goes right, go left instead.
  • You don’t have to like me; I’m not a Facebook status.
  • As beautiful on the inside as I am on the outside.
  • When you take a selfie and your hairs look perfect but not your face.
  • Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
  • Always classy, never trashy, and a little bit sassy.
  • A selfie once a day keeps the depression away.
  • Oh, you’re a model? What’s your agency, Instagram?
  • Somethings look very good in dreams.
  • When you are laughing life seems to be better.

About the author

Roja Gumpula

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